Sex and Money: What’s Your Refractory Period? (Aka how often you can have sex and how that applies to your cash flow)

Written by Briana Cavanaugh

August 30, 2016

Let’s just jump in: How many orgasms can you have in a session? No really, how many (ok, you don’t have to answer that to me, but notice.) One? two? 10? How long between sexy times or sessions?

Do you know the idea of a refractory period?

The definition is this: a period immediately following stimulation during which a nerve or muscle is unresponsive to further stimulation. It’s frequently talked about in terms of a man’s ability to orgasm a second time. (I’m sure it has other uses, but I’ve never heard them!) It’s a useful term for sexy conversations with a partner or planning for self pleasuring and I want to point something else out too…

Last week I had a hard day. I was pretty mad and disappointed. Actually I think the word I used was “devastated.” I was hoping this would push our marketing and PR efforts over the edge and get us a lot of visibility. It didn’t in fact it was a huge disappointment. That was 4:30pm.

That night I spent time talking to a couple of different people in my life about this and generally being unhappy/frustrated and other “exciting” emotions. My people listened to me and reflected me and it was really good.

But by 6:30 pm I had to move on. I had to go and be with a year deep dive and didn’t have time, space or energy to keep on exploring the downward spiral.

So I listened to this meditation (the “Fuck That” meditation which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY). It made me laugh so hard. And I moved on.

That was my refractory period.

The time from when I got the bad news until the time I was able to get up and dust myself off and do the next thing.

It used to be I would stew and sit and be angry and reflect and mull and steam and talk about it. But as my business has grown, I just haven’t had that time (or desire) to string out that pain.

I still have hard things happen, but what I don’t do is stew on them and let them get the better of me. My refractory period has gotten shorter and shorter. The time I ned between stimulation – or in this case from disappointment to next right action – is much shorter than it’s ever been.

This is really because I’ve increased my capacity for pleasure of all kinds. I’ve chosen to tolerate, and cultivate and focus on feeling better and better all the time.

Your exercise today is twofold:
1. How long does it take you to recover from something hard in your business?
2. What can you do to shorten that time?

In the upcoming 100 Days to Profitability with Pleasure, I’ll be teaching you how to increase your capacity for pleasure rapidly.

But for now try this and let me know what you think?

Lastly, I was on a podcast recently and I thought you might want to check it out. If you know someone who might get some use out of that information, please pass it on! The Whole is Greater Than Sum of Its Parts with Melin Isa on Planning Your Leap Into Business.

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